Till alla webbutvecklare

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Dear Mr. Web Developer:

Please design and build me a web site. I am not quite sure of what I need,
so you should use your discretion. My web site should have somewhere between
two and forty-five pages. Just make sure the plans are such, the pages can
be easily added or deleted. When you bring flowcharts to me, I will make the
final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each
configuration so I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind, the web site I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I
am currently using. Make sure, however, to correct all the deficiencies
existing in my current web site (I have a partial list of what I don’t like,
the rest I’ll tell you as you go).

As you design, also keep in mind, I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as
low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features
like full log reporting, unlimited email accounts, unlimited memory and
bandwidth use. (If you choose not to include these features, be prepared to
explain your decision in detail.)

Please make sure you are using the most modern design practices and the
latest software in development of the web site, as I want it to be a
showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however,
the whole site must be designed to accommodate, among other things, Web TV.

To insure you are building the correct web site for our entire company, make
certain you contact each of our managers, and also our night cleaning person
has some great ideas. My mother-in-law, who actually owns the company, will
have very strong feelings about how the web site should be designed; since
she visits the company at least once a year.

Make sure you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right
decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices you make.

Please don´t bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop
the overall plans for the web site: Get the big picture? At this time, for
example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the background images or page
color. However, keep in mind, my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about preparing the data base to build the
web site itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and
specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the web
site to be up and running within 48 hours.

While you are designing this web site specifically for me, keep in mind,
sooner or later my Mother-in-Law will have to sell the company to someone
else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.
Please make sure before you finalize the plans, there is a consensus of the
population on the web who like the features this web site has. I advise you
to look up my competition´s web site, which he constructed last year. We
like it a great deal. It has many features we would also like in our new web
site, particularly the animations. With careful engineering, I believe you
can design these features into our new web site without impacting the final
cost.

Please prepare a complete set of flowcharts, showing every link. It is not
necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only
for getting bids. Be advised, however, you will be held accountable for any
increase of development costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on such an interesting project as this!
To be able to use the latest techniques and software and to be given such
freedom in your designs is something which can´t happen very often.

Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

PS: My wife has just told me, she disagrees with many of the instructions
I´ve given you in this letter. As Web Developer, it is your responsibility
to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable
to accomplish this. If you can´t handle this responsibility, I will have to
find another Web Developer.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a web site at all, but rather an ad campaign
in the Shopper Stopper? Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the
case.

Denna text har jag utskriven och uppsatt på väggen eftersom den är en bra (om än aningen överdriven) beskrivning av vad man måste tåla som webbutvecklare.

Fast å andra sidan har vi varit bortskämda länge nog - jag kan ibland tycka att det är skönt att det blåser lite snåla vindar bland alla lövtunna "webbutvecklare".

Så här kan det se ut;
http://www.dataphone.se/~roapp/

Ugh, jag får ont i ögonen av den!

Fick de som gjorde den betalt för att göra det? Enligt de som gjort den <http://www.v-light.com/> är de proffs, men man undrar ju...

  • Medlem
  • 2001-07-26 20:48

Läste brevet, och tro mig... såna personer kontaktar dig, totala flummon. :rolleyes:

V-light sidan var väl snygg!? Du kan ju inte döma dom, du vet ju inte hur gamla dom är, jag tippar på 5-6 åldern.

Fast jag höll på att skratta ihjäl mig när jag först såg den..

Vilka lirare...

Sidan är anpassad till och och 800*600 dpi´s upplösning

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