Rolig Historia om Datatekniker

Tråden skapades och har fått 7 svar. Det senaste inlägget skrevs .
1
  • Medlem
  • 2001-06-13 16:07

En dag mötte en grön liten groda en man när hon hoppade över vägen.
Grodan kväkte åt mannen: "Om du kysser mig blir jag en vacker prinsessa."
Mannen plockade upp grodan och satte den i fickan.
Efter en stund kväkte grodan "Om du kysser mig blir jag en vacker
prinsessa och jag LOVAR att stanna hos dig i en vecka!" Mannen
plockade ut grodan ur fickan, tittade på den en stund och log.
Sedan stoppade han tillbaka den i fickan och där fick den ligga
bland mobiltelefon och pennor.
Efter ytterligare en stund kväkte grodan desperat: "Om du kysser
mig blir jag en vacker prinsessa och jag lovar att stanna hos dig i ett år
och jag skall göra allt du begär." Mannen plockade återigen upp grodan ur
fickan och tittade på den med ett underligt leende.
Men ner i fickan åkte grodan igen.
Då kväkte grodan "Men hallå! Varför vill du inte kyssa mig. Jag skulle
bli en vacker kvinna och den perfekta flickvännen."
Då plockade mannen upp grodan igen och sa "Hör på nu. Jag är IT-konsult,
och jag har inte tid med någon flickvän eller sex eller annat larv,
men en talande groda är coolt."

:eek:

Drug Dealers vs. Software Developers...

------------------------- ---------------------------
Drug Dealers Software Developers
------------------------- ---------------------------
Refer to their clients Refer to their clients
as "users". as "users".
--------------------------------------------------------------
"The first one´s free!" "Download a free trial
version..."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Have important Asian Have important Asian
connections. connections.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Strange jargon: Strange jargon:
"Stick" "SCSI"
"Rock" "RTFM"
"Wrap" "Packet"
"E" "C"
"Stash" "Cache"
"Drive-by" "CTRL ALT DEL"
"Hit (LSD)" "Hit (WWW)"
"Source" "Source-code"
"The Pigs" "Microsoft"
--------------------------------------------------------------
Realise that there´s tons Realise that there´s tons
of cash in the 14- to of cash in the 14- to
25-year-old market. 25-year-old market.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Clients really like your Clients really like your
stuff when it works. stuff when it works.
When it doesn´t work When it doesn´t work
they want to kill you. they want to kill you.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Job is assisted by the Job is assisted by the
industry´s producing industry´s producing
newer, more potent newer, more potent
product. product.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Often seen in the company Often seen in the company of
of pimps, hustlers and marketing people, venture
low-lifes. capitalists and fund managers.
--------------------------------------------------------------
When things go wrong, a When things go wrong, a
"fix" is just a phone call fix is just a phone call
away, but may be expensive. away, but may be expensive.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A lot of people are getting A lot of people are getting
rich while still teenagers. rich while still teenagers.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Product causes unhealthy DOOM, Quake, SimCity,
addictions. Duke Nukem 3D...
--------------------------------------------------------------
Do your job well and Damn! DAMN!!!
you can sleep with
sexy movie stars who
depend on you.

Oops, formateringen fuckade upp...

***************************************************************
Hello,

I am a Norwegian Virus.

Please forward me to all people in your address book,
then remove all files from your hard drive.

***************************************************************

Why computers are better than girlfriends

1. You wouldnt bother to play StripPoker all night with a girlfriend..
2. No girlfriend can hold your undivided attention for 30 hours in a stretch.
3. Your computer never wants to be taken out for dinner.
4. Your computer dont mind if you are unshaved, havent showered this week or are sitting by it in your underwear.
5. If a computer gets a virus, it can be cleaned away.
6. No matter how ugly your computer is, you can show it to your friends.
7. With a computer, you can press the buttons without it getting sore.
8. A computer doesnt mind you using other computers as well.
9. You will never find your computer in bed with your best friend.
10. Computers never, EVER gets a period.

Commented reasons why girlfriends are better than computers

1. Girlfriends are cheaper to maintain than computers.
but, cost of girlfriend maintenance varies significantly from model to model.
2. Girlfriends can become older, but never obsolete.
but, no, only fat, wrinkled and ugly. I can always buy an upgrade for my computer.
3. Computers cannot iron your shirts or make your food.
but, just like computers, performance varies from model to model, you always get exactly what you pay for.
4. Cum makes keyboards so sticky - and you can´t wash them.
but, try the disk drive but remember to cover your disk.
5. Girlfriends function very well during main current breakdowns.
but, computers don´t have PMS!
6. When a girlfriend makes an error, it is not ALWAYS your fault.
but, if it´s not your fault, then whose fault is it?
7. Girlfriends does their own routine maintenance.
but, once you live with one, you will learn - they require routine maintenance each and every morning, I just turn my computer on each morning.
8. Girlfriends´ memories do not get accidentally erased.
but, not accidentally, they forget exactly what they want to forget, exactly when they want to forget.
9. Even if you have been awake all night with your girlfriend, your eyes are not necessarily red.
but, it´s hard to argue with sex.
10. Computers are totally boring in bed.
but, they don´t steal the covers either.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Hot-sex 1.0 and Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I´ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but there is none available.

Desperate Wife.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Dear Desperate Wife,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install Mother InLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1

Tech Support

[ 15 Juni 2001: Meddelandet ändrat av: CyberPet ]

På något sätt visste jag att fruntimmer är webbservrar. Här är beviset (OBS! Grovt!):

400 Bad Request - Fråga utan blombukett
401 Unauthorized -Gift
402 Payment Required - Middag med tända ljus
403 Forbidden - Bort med tassarna!
404 Not Found - Tjejkväll på stan
405 Method Not Allowed - Nepp, där får du inte stoppa in den!
406 Method Not Acceptable - ...avsugning kan du också glömma!
407 Proxy Auth. Required - måste fråga mamma...
408 Request Timeout - Vet du hur länge sedan det var du hörde av dig?!
409 Conflict - Vem var det där?!
410 Document Removed - vill ha skilsmässa
411 Lenght Required - Och den där kallar du stor?
412 Precondition Failed - Va? Har du inga kondomer?
413 Request Entity Too Large - Ohh, den får nog inte plats...
415 Unsupported Media Type - Nej, jag gillar inte gruppsex
500 Internal Server Error - Menstruation
501 Not Implemented - Har jag aldrig prövat på...
502 Bad Gateway - ...blä, smakar salt
503 Service Unavailable - Huvudvärk
504 Gateway Timeout - Var det allt?

1
Bevaka tråden